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The Mob Rules

Dear reader,

I hope the first post of the new year finds you well. Unlike me, however, as the inevitable has occurred. To my absolute lack of surprise, 5 days of adhering to a compulsory work-from-office (WFO) policy has gifted me a positive COVID infection. And before you say anything like "Oh, everyone's going to get it so it's okay" I invite you to experience a night of explosive diarrhoea, one of the lesser talked-about symptoms. Usain Bolting to the loo every half hour will leave you exhausted, dehydrated and figuring out a way to fit the mattress in the bathroom; not something you'll forget in a hurry. 

Am I surprised that the virus got me, after I managed to dodge it successfully for nigh on 2 years? No.

You see, it's hard to process the breathtaking brazen idiocy of insisting on WFO when cases are rising so steeply but a single-owner company can get away with coldblooded crap like that. They're hiding behind the fig leaf of government mandates which is clever since the company is technically following the letter of the law. On my first day of work, I realised that they aren't the only ones. The workplace is in one of those monolithic corporate termite mounds that can probably host more than 10000 people. The canteen is a common one on the ground floor and it was a bit of a system shock to be surrounded by 200 people without masks directing chappatis, chowmein or chaas down their collective maws. So, it would seem that many other companies are happily insisting that people show up. Still, it's bizarre to let me know that I can now work from home (since I'm infected) for a week when it would be a hell of a lot more sensible to have let everyone do that in the first place, but hey what do I know. Right now, I'm in a safer situation than my colleagues, if you can wrap your head around that thought. 

Rather than think about the sheer WTFness of the scene, I am busy playing COVID symptom Tambola - where I wake up every morning wondering which one has been drawn for me from the pot. Thursday night was about chills and body ache, Friday was a Jaldi 5 of diarrhoea, body ache, fatigue, fever and cough and... well, you get the drift. It's fatigue and cough as I write this, in case you were wondering.

Anyway, while UNESCO's best government of all time mooches around on deploying booster shots for everyone, I'll have some level of immunity for some time at least. Right? Totally.

Stay away from the office and stay safe, everyone.

Song for the moment: Contact - Daft Punk

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