In truth, I was going to post this with the usual dash of attempted humour. A rather mild interaction/altercation with a family member this morning has made me reconsider. So, what follows is pretty straightforward piece about my experience with social distancing.
Who the heck am I to say anything on the subject? Fair point. I'm no hermit nor one of those wild-haired, acutely introverted geniuses popularised by Hollywood. I'm just a guy who has lived by himself since 2013. I've never employed any househelp for cooking or washing up, for the usual mix of irrational and rational reasons but mostly because I dislike:
- Spending a lot of money
- Juggling timetables
- Awkward, accusatory effort evaluations
When I rented my small but charming 1 BHK, the usual dream/delusion was also very much alive; that I'd meet a girl, we'd fall in love, move in together and get married eventually too. I'm just glad I didn't hold my breath on that one. Ergo, I have not had to share home space for quite a while. So, let's say I'm absolutely not an expert, just a guy with some observations.
1. There are quotes on the interweb about the addictive quality of living by yourself. It's only true in the long term, largely because of conditioning. As creatures of habit, once things are sorted exactly the way we want, having it disrupted by nincompoops, well-meaning or otherwise, only stimulates mild rage and severe heartburn. There is nothing inherently cool about living by yourself.
2. Initial social distancing and isolation is HARD. We are also social creatures, which explains why you're now hardwired to check your phone notifications, feed aggregators and Twitter every 10 minutes. You hunger to connect with someone and the internet does allow you to do that, but it used to be a poor substitute for the real thing... a dilute, inexplicably unsatisfactory experience. That has changed and in the current scenario, will change further.
3. You may find yourself talking aloud... to yourself or to the room in general. You may even anthropomorphise various items around you. This is OKAY. Think back to Wilson in Castaway and you'll know what I mean.
4. On that note, you may also switch on the TV / stream a show and completely tune out after a few minutes. Do not be nonplussed. It's only your instinct for human interaction kicking in. You want to hear the sound of another human voice, regardless of what they may be saying.
5. This is important but tricky. If you are alone and have a reasonable stock of liquor or other substances, please try not to stave off boredom through anesthesia. You won't know when the line separating occasional use from habit is crossed. Many of these crutches have deep claws that latch on and don't let go. While they do let you escape temporarily, all I can say is, you would be exchanging one prison (boredom) for another (ennui / addiction), especially at a moment when all your senses should be at hand.
6. Do not be overly self-critical or disappointed if you make a list of things you can achieve in lockdown and end up completing none. Making lists is a soothing exercise and our mind's way of trying to make sense and seek order in the surrounding chaos. We are also in the initial phases of the isolation so the need to change our habits and tackle self-improvement lists will not kick in without enormous struggle and discipline. The longer our lives are affected by the virus, the better the chances we'll actually get around to the simple full-body workout, the basic cooking hacks, cleaning up behind the fridge or heck, showering every day.
7. Oh yea, think you'll be showering every day? Lol.
8. That said, basic self-hygiene and house cleanliness is important. You don't have to bathe every day but do so every alternate day at least. Clean the house up alternate days too. I don't mean the kind of cleaning that will pass an army inspection. Pick up that jhadoo and dust the place down. It's basic exercise, gives you something to do and teaches you to better appreciate the efforts of your house helper.
9. Speaking of which, you may wonder why we're talking about cleaning house or even doing the dishes. Try not to panic but it may be highly likely that your helper will not be allowed to come by regularly for a few months at least. Everyone's life is sacrosanct and the people who basically keep your house going while you surf the internet at work have to stay safe as well.
Short segue - the lady who runs our house is an angel in human form. She has been with us since 1996 - 97 at least. She knows our individual idiocyncracies inside out and often goes out of her way to do things for us that we would not imagine, never mind expect. We are a family of curmudgeons and believe me, without her, my folks wouldn't last a week. She's less a help and more a kindly aunt and we interact with her that way. And, if she's the solace for the misfortunes my family has suffered, it's not a bad deal. We certainly do not take her for granted. We do count our blessings daily.
10. Music is important. It is an excellent substitute for TV and its many genres will help you, no matter what your mood. Whether it's meditative, peppy, nostalgic, angry, romantic or morose, listen to music. It is especially useful when you're cooking, doing the dishes or cleaning up the house. Some of my fondest moments involve whipping up dinner for one on Sunday evenings, accompanied by music. It is a seriously underrated coping mechanism. Now is an excellent time to discover new music. Sure, you could listen to old favourites repeatly, but what's the harm in being open-minded to new music?
11. There are enough and more people telling you to read books rather than watch a lot of shows. Whether they are right or wrong, do what makes you happy and keeps you going. If you, like me, read, read until you want to do something else. Don't be ashamed to admit that you're bored of the books. Similarly, watch (Personally can't advocate binge-watching) whatever you want till you're bored and then maybe give a book a try. There's no wrong way here and that includes lounging on your couch or bed, drowning in lassitude for hours at a stretch. I've done it on some weekends and yet, here we are.
12. After having lived by youself, if you now, like me, isolate with family, it gets a little tough. In these trying times, it will take Dalai Lama-like self-control to not put down family members who are spouting an awful lot of balls about the situation. Trust me, it is better to nod along. Everyone is nervous, everyone is coping in different ways and no one knows better about what works.
13. You do not have to win at everything. Think about it. I learned this the hard way.
14. Board games are awesome. In fact, games like Carrom or Scrabble can be played solo. I know because I have.
15. For pity's sake, look out the window and daydream once in a while. It's wonderful.
That's all I can think of for now. Stay safe, all.
Song for the moment: I'll try something new - Smokey Robinson & the Miracles
Who the heck am I to say anything on the subject? Fair point. I'm no hermit nor one of those wild-haired, acutely introverted geniuses popularised by Hollywood. I'm just a guy who has lived by himself since 2013. I've never employed any househelp for cooking or washing up, for the usual mix of irrational and rational reasons but mostly because I dislike:
- Spending a lot of money
- Juggling timetables
- Awkward, accusatory effort evaluations
When I rented my small but charming 1 BHK, the usual dream/delusion was also very much alive; that I'd meet a girl, we'd fall in love, move in together and get married eventually too. I'm just glad I didn't hold my breath on that one. Ergo, I have not had to share home space for quite a while. So, let's say I'm absolutely not an expert, just a guy with some observations.
1. There are quotes on the interweb about the addictive quality of living by yourself. It's only true in the long term, largely because of conditioning. As creatures of habit, once things are sorted exactly the way we want, having it disrupted by nincompoops, well-meaning or otherwise, only stimulates mild rage and severe heartburn. There is nothing inherently cool about living by yourself.
2. Initial social distancing and isolation is HARD. We are also social creatures, which explains why you're now hardwired to check your phone notifications, feed aggregators and Twitter every 10 minutes. You hunger to connect with someone and the internet does allow you to do that, but it used to be a poor substitute for the real thing... a dilute, inexplicably unsatisfactory experience. That has changed and in the current scenario, will change further.
3. You may find yourself talking aloud... to yourself or to the room in general. You may even anthropomorphise various items around you. This is OKAY. Think back to Wilson in Castaway and you'll know what I mean.
4. On that note, you may also switch on the TV / stream a show and completely tune out after a few minutes. Do not be nonplussed. It's only your instinct for human interaction kicking in. You want to hear the sound of another human voice, regardless of what they may be saying.
5. This is important but tricky. If you are alone and have a reasonable stock of liquor or other substances, please try not to stave off boredom through anesthesia. You won't know when the line separating occasional use from habit is crossed. Many of these crutches have deep claws that latch on and don't let go. While they do let you escape temporarily, all I can say is, you would be exchanging one prison (boredom) for another (ennui / addiction), especially at a moment when all your senses should be at hand.
6. Do not be overly self-critical or disappointed if you make a list of things you can achieve in lockdown and end up completing none. Making lists is a soothing exercise and our mind's way of trying to make sense and seek order in the surrounding chaos. We are also in the initial phases of the isolation so the need to change our habits and tackle self-improvement lists will not kick in without enormous struggle and discipline. The longer our lives are affected by the virus, the better the chances we'll actually get around to the simple full-body workout, the basic cooking hacks, cleaning up behind the fridge or heck, showering every day.
7. Oh yea, think you'll be showering every day? Lol.
8. That said, basic self-hygiene and house cleanliness is important. You don't have to bathe every day but do so every alternate day at least. Clean the house up alternate days too. I don't mean the kind of cleaning that will pass an army inspection. Pick up that jhadoo and dust the place down. It's basic exercise, gives you something to do and teaches you to better appreciate the efforts of your house helper.
9. Speaking of which, you may wonder why we're talking about cleaning house or even doing the dishes. Try not to panic but it may be highly likely that your helper will not be allowed to come by regularly for a few months at least. Everyone's life is sacrosanct and the people who basically keep your house going while you surf the internet at work have to stay safe as well.
Short segue - the lady who runs our house is an angel in human form. She has been with us since 1996 - 97 at least. She knows our individual idiocyncracies inside out and often goes out of her way to do things for us that we would not imagine, never mind expect. We are a family of curmudgeons and believe me, without her, my folks wouldn't last a week. She's less a help and more a kindly aunt and we interact with her that way. And, if she's the solace for the misfortunes my family has suffered, it's not a bad deal. We certainly do not take her for granted. We do count our blessings daily.
10. Music is important. It is an excellent substitute for TV and its many genres will help you, no matter what your mood. Whether it's meditative, peppy, nostalgic, angry, romantic or morose, listen to music. It is especially useful when you're cooking, doing the dishes or cleaning up the house. Some of my fondest moments involve whipping up dinner for one on Sunday evenings, accompanied by music. It is a seriously underrated coping mechanism. Now is an excellent time to discover new music. Sure, you could listen to old favourites repeatly, but what's the harm in being open-minded to new music?
11. There are enough and more people telling you to read books rather than watch a lot of shows. Whether they are right or wrong, do what makes you happy and keeps you going. If you, like me, read, read until you want to do something else. Don't be ashamed to admit that you're bored of the books. Similarly, watch (Personally can't advocate binge-watching) whatever you want till you're bored and then maybe give a book a try. There's no wrong way here and that includes lounging on your couch or bed, drowning in lassitude for hours at a stretch. I've done it on some weekends and yet, here we are.
12. After having lived by youself, if you now, like me, isolate with family, it gets a little tough. In these trying times, it will take Dalai Lama-like self-control to not put down family members who are spouting an awful lot of balls about the situation. Trust me, it is better to nod along. Everyone is nervous, everyone is coping in different ways and no one knows better about what works.
13. You do not have to win at everything. Think about it. I learned this the hard way.
14. Board games are awesome. In fact, games like Carrom or Scrabble can be played solo. I know because I have.
15. For pity's sake, look out the window and daydream once in a while. It's wonderful.
That's all I can think of for now. Stay safe, all.
Song for the moment: I'll try something new - Smokey Robinson & the Miracles
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