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Part 2 - Multitudes of manic metaphors & maxims


"You live and learn. At any rate, you live" - Douglas Adams


Naveen and I are sitting outside the Kaul Genetics building when he casually mentions that there's a job opening for a student assistant at one of the departments at UAB. On-campus work opportunities are so notoriously rare that had this been the age of mythology, you could safely expect to see Hercules adding this one to his list.

To put it mildly, competition here was fierce.

Okay... time to make a confession. From the outset, I had the funny feeling that this job was mine. The facts speak for themselves - I was the only chap who could work the exact days and hours required, the work did not require any clerical experience nor expertise and well... I had a feeling.

Life... all it ever does is wait for an opportunity to deliver a kick to your unmentionables. Its success rate is remarkable too. I applied for it (the job, not the kick) and got it. "Drinks all around."

The fates threw the kick in for free. That's them, generous to a fault.

The person who interviewed me needed my SSN for the paper work. I'd applied for the ssn just a few days before and let them know that I'd have it within 2 weeks. No problems there, right ?
"The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't" - Douglas Adams
Imagine a train smoothly chugging along on its journey... now, imagine said train suffering an unfortunate derailment. Got that little image in your head ? Good... because the only difference between the events in this story and the unfortunate train was that my job managed (in a way only the word 'perverse' covers adequately) to derail even before it got out of the station. So there.

I was celebrating my new-found job (ha!!) at home when I got the call... no ssn, no job. Nothing to be done about it either from what I was told, because the previously friendly interviewer had decided that she had bagged the part of the Sphinx in the drama of Life, meaning that no amount of diplomacy, negotiation or downright pleading could get her to consider my case.

"Everything is gratuitous, this garden, this city, and myself. When you suddenly realize it, it makes you feel sick and everything begins to drift... that's nausea" - Sartre

What the hell did he know ? This was definitely not gratuitous and I was still nauseous. They started interviewing for the position again. I waited... and by some miracle (and it was a miracle, make no mistake), the ssn that was supposed to come in 21 days, came in 5. I rushed to the office and let the personage have the ssn... "joy to the world..." right ??

Logic dictated that the job was now mine. Apparently, logic had packed its bags and taken off on vacation at this juncture because, for some reason ("Ours is not to reason why...") they continued to interview for the position.

"Drinks just for me... and while you're at it, make that a double... neat." Need I elucidate ?

Four days later, I get a call telling me, regretfully (on cue - hooting and hysterical guffaws) that they had found someone else to fill the position. Thank you very much.

The next day, I am awoken from a stiff hangover by the telephone ringing. The job was mine. Again. No explanations given and none asked for.

At the time, I was very happy about working, for a variety of reasons that I've mentioned in previous posts. 6 months to the day since I started work, I'm not so sure about the happiness part any more.

If you're wondering what this 'job' entails - think of me as a glorified office-boy.

There's the kick... aaaannnnd score !! Right on the unmentionables.

"Reality continues to ruin my life" - Bill Watterson

Comments

Ashish said…
Keeps getting better :-)
All the bloody time

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