Dear reader,
If you've never heard of Moore's Law, I would suggest that ignorance is no longer bliss so you ought to peruse the subject. After all, we exist in a world that's sandwiched between him and Murphy. I have railed against my experience of Moore's law before but compared to what I discovered today, the radio incident was nothing.
If you live in the average Indian house, take a gander at the nearest tube-light. Is it a smart, sleek Anchor (or any other) branded piece accompanied by a circular tube with double pins on either end? Well, that blameless, perfectly functional design has gone the way of the dinosaurs. What's amazing is how many years the earlier style of holders with starters, bigger tubes and what-have-you hung around our homes. The slim tube design was revolutionary when it came along. And here's the jolly bit - its extinction is only to be discovered in convoluted ways. Let me explain the bullet I've taken for you, dear reader.
A few days earlier I was owlishly staring into the depths of the abyss, commonly referred to as the work laptop, when I heard a funny little sizzle. No, I hadn't written a particularly great line or anything. The room suddenly resembled my inner world, i.e. it went completely dark. As any average chap would, I suspected the tube-light of having given up the ghost and quickly stepped out and purchased a new one. That was a mistake; modern tube-lights don't announce their demise with a whimper, much less a bang so I should have first substituted on of the other tubes in the house to check.
Alas, the new bit of illumination took inspiration from my Bumble profile by remaining obstinately dead, which suggested the issue was elsewhere, also akin to the profile, what? No problem, I thought. A new holder could just as easily be procured. I suppose Heracles had similar thoughts when starting out on his 12 tasks. Mine were more onerous and involved visiting about a dozen electrical stores in the area and either getting laughed at or looked at with pity, and it's hard to decide which was worse. Apparently, the law referred to above (read, FFS) has grimly conquered even the humble tube-light and these holders have now been replaced by even sleeker LED contraptions.
Pshaw, I said at the first place. Obviously they were crooks out to part an honest man from his hard-earned doubloons by foisting some unnecessary new set of lights on me. Look, it surely can't be that outdated, I pleaded at the fifth store. Why in heaven's name do you bother stocking the tubes, I shrieked at store number ten. Alright, gimme it, I dejectedly conceded at the final place, a store we've visited for decades. The kindly uncle there (I may be on the cusp of 40 but these guys will always be uncles for me) revealed that the kind of holders that lurk around my house (and perhaps yours too, dear reader) haven't been manufactured in 4 years!
To any sane mind, this should suggest the obvious; that the new LED thingummy I have just installed ought to nervously keep an eye out for the next usurper. What an absurd state of affairs. It's all very well asking everyone to keep up with the times but doesn't it feel like someone is stealthily increasing the speed setting on one's treadmill of life? What's next? Switch-less switchboards? Bio-luminescent table lamps? Battery-less phones? Bah, humbug!
Actually, that last one sounds like a great idea, come to think of it.
Song for the moment: Here I go again - Whitesnake
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