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Old School Yard

Last night, European football's domestic calendar culminated in an improbable, yet thoroughly deserved Champions League title for Chelsea. Improbable because the team and their manager Thomas Tuchel were up against a great Man City team coached by Pep Guardiola, one of the best in the modern game. Chelsea had already beaten City twice in the past 6 weeks. Yet, for Pep, third time lucky, it was still not to be. 

Say what you want about his crazy intensity, the man's a serial winner, with his City teams closer to collecting a unique quadruple (CL, Premier League, FA Cup, Carabao Cup) than any other side. This year, they seemed destined to pull it off but came up against the razor-sharp tactics and expensively assembled Chelsea of Tuchel. Yes, him not Lampard whose (same) team were struggling in 9th place in the EPL when he was sacked. Frank could not have done in 2 years what Tuchel has pulled off in 5 months - winning the CL, losing the FA Cup finals and finishing 4th in the EPL. What a man, what a mind and what an amazing tactician. Chelsea's win must be all the more galling for PSG, who let Tuchel go this year after he got them to the CL final last year, only prevented from winning it by Hansi Flick's all-conquering Bayern.

I find it impossible to celebrate City's defeat. There's a lot of jeering of Pep on social media, 99.99% by people with neither a fraction of his acumen, experience or desire. His team played some of the best football in Europe this year. They certainly burned through everyone in the EPL. They've made the Carabao Cup their personal trophy (City should have their name engraved on it for next year to save time). City have also won 3 of the last 4 league titles. So, sure, he may have spent north of $750 million in 5 years, but most of them have been fantastic buys. There's not a person alive who remotely understands football and thinks Pep's team won't be genuinely good next season too.

But the main reason there's no glee for me is because there wasn't a victory for Man United either. It's been 4 years since they last won any trophy. Yea, they've come second but it's as good as fourth (a team that just won the CL, by the way). The owners don't give a fuck, the stadium is in terrible shape, more money has been spent on duds (Fred, Falcao, Sanchez, Di Maria, Depay, Darmian, Dalot, James, Pereira) than studs (Zlatan, Lukaku, Cavani) and even those who weren't terrible weren't / aren't wonderful either (Mikhitaryan, Schneiderlin, Blind, Wan-Bissaka, Telles, Lindelof, Bailly, Ighalo). Maguire is neither here nor there. A good leader and defender but not in the class of Virgil van Dijk, never mind Vidic or Ferdinand. Academy grad McTominay tries his best but you'd probably take Kante any day. 

I don't even want to bring up the immense frustrations that are Lingard, Martial and Pogba or the tragedy that is poor Donny Van de Beek. So basically, in the last 10 years, there have been only 2 phenomenal buys - Robin Van Persie and Bruno Fernandes. A legend like Zlatan could inspire United to their last trophy but that's it. While Rashford and Greenwood are great home-grown products, you get the feeling they've hit a ceiling at the club. Which brings me to the management. 

Ole is a club legend and a good man manager but is he tactically as astute as Klopp, Tuchel, Pep or even Rodgers? On the evidence of the Europa League final, the answer has to be 'No'. Put it this way - would any of those clubs exchange Ole for their coach? Would United exchange those coaches for Ole? In your heart of hearts, you know. Sure, there has to be some leeway for the suffering of the Moyes, Van Gaal and Jose years, but here's the thing - Moyes is doing really well at West Ham, LVG won the FA Cup and Mourinho delivered the Europa League.

Watching United struggle against the low-block / deep defensive line of Villareal, you could only sense despair. They have been unable to break down teams that play so deep because they lack the tactical nous to make something happen. Expecting a moment of inspiration from your geniuses is not a plan because there will come a day when all of them fall short. May 26, 2021 for example. And, while Sancho, Grealish or Kane would add genuine class to the side, they're not going to solve the main problem; Man United also needing a genuinely great coach who can both manage players and get the best out of them to win trophies. Don't agree? Check out the average team sheet for the last United side to win the EPL. That's great management.

So, yea, United supporters can't afford to laugh at anyone right now. Heck, they ought to prepare for a realistic future by remembering pre-Klopp Liverpool's yearning for the Premier League. Mind you, they won a treble of their own and the CL too. I'll bet Gerrard could give Bruno a few useful tips on handling chronic disappointment.

I wanted to end this piece by taking comfort in the fact that United's fall from grace isn't as steep as Arsenal's but just realised that even the wretched Gunners made it to the final of the Europa League and won the FA Cup as well as the Community Shield in the last 2 years. So, devastating as this may seem, United's record is only about as good as that of Spurs. Yes, the Spurs who reached a CL Final two years ago. Ouch.

Song for the moment: Substantial Damage - Keith Richards

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