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Trapped Under Ice

I am a weakling.
I am helpless.
I am intimidated.
I am worried.

That I am all of these things was brought home forcefully at 5pm yesterday. I was walking towards the local supermarket and got lost in some kind of reverie while crossing the road. So, it took a second to become aware of 3 teens on a motor scooter riding towards me. Thought they were still some distance away and could have either honked or comfortably manoeuvred around, they chose to slow down and shower me with the ripest abuse I have heard in a while. I paused to let them go by but they stopped the bike next to me. None of these guys looked past their 16th birthdays. They made no pretence of wearing masks and did not seem worried that it was them going triple-seat that was a bigger issue. Instead, they continued to swear. Without saying a word, I gave them the finger and started walking.

In hindsight, not my brightest moment. The gesture caused the leader to turn the bike around and ride up close to me. Fortunately, I'd spotted a policeman outside one of the shops so even as they drew nearer, I welcomed them, asking why they were swearing in the first place and also pointing to the cop. The guy turned the bike around again and almost headed off. But no, for some reason, he changed his mind. Still swearing, he parked the bike in the middle of the road and began strutting towards me, even as the companions clamoured that they should really get going. As I stood there, the guy abruptly turned around and they eventually rode away towards Gaon.

There I was, mind blank, chest twisting and a sour, metallic taste spreading in my mouth. Things could have gone very badly at that point. I am neither tall nor strong so physical intimidation has never been an option. I don't know any martial arts or even the slightest bit of science on defending myself so there would be no glorious Bruce Lee / Bajirao Singham moment. I haven't been in a fistfight since school. Maybe, maybe I could have got in a few weak pushes or a punch if I was lucky. Realistically though, I was toast if one or all 3 of them had abandoned reason and actually got physical. That there were people (especially the cop) around and it was still late afternoon, were the only things on my side. If it was later in the evening, the road were emptier or no cop around...

At night, I pondered about the whole episode and began to understand the American fondness for handguns. Okay, nix that, but at least a tazer, cosh or knuckleduster, sure. Maybe pepper-spray.

I've lived in my neighbourhood since 1993 and have never experienced a moment like this. A palpable cultural change is taking place in front of my eyes. An increasing number of guys on bikes are seen breaking the signal at the Chowk with nary a second thought. Vehicles are being parked and double-parked any old how. People on the roads are more angry, more aggressive and definitely brazenly driving/riding more rashly. I am getting pretty close to middle age and am beginning to worry about the next generation. Our country has a large number of youngsters. Some are completing their studies and discovering that jobs are hard to come by. COVID-19 means others are being sacked from their contract-based work and are now idle. All of them have been cooped up at home for 2 months with nothing to do and money disappearing quickly because of the government's ham-fisted approach to the virus.

They may all be seething. They may all want to take it out somewhere, on someone. Anomie is coming. Or, it may actually be here and we're living in denial.

Which is why I am starting to consider ways to defend myself if, unlike yesterday, push actually comes to shove.

Song for the moment: Metal Militia - Metallica

Comments

Anonymous said…
If you can’t be armed, you have to disarm them. And no better way to do that, other than weaponizing something you’ve got going for you and they absolutely don’t: a functioning, sharp brain. The way I deal with these situations is by just getting in front of the conversation and saying something that boneheaded idiots like the ones you’ve described least expect. It is comical how badly it throws them off when the cadence of the interaction beats their expectation by even the slightest bit. And you want to beat that expectation wildly! You gotta think fast and on your feet. And you gotta go big or go home, so it definitely takes nerves. But I can tell you this; if you did manage to get in front of that conversation when that dude was walking up to you menacingly, and responded to his threat in a way that he absolutely did not expect (viz. anything other than fear, anger, or self-righteousness), you would leave him without a script.

Try and storyboard this conversation in your mind and take it through a logical end as you see it: Guy screeches the motorcycle to an halt in the middle of the road, parks it and advances threateningly towards you. You sense a moment of violence approaching. You take control of the conversation and deftly steer it in a direction he just couldn’t have anticipated. Maybe a fake broad smile and an apology in tow, saying something like “Damn! I am sorry, I was looking in a completely different direction. Glad you were able to avoid an accident. Are you guys OK? Can’t thank you enough!” Maybe even extend an arm out warmly to shake his hand. Maybe add a minor but slightly long winded pointless reference of “Have I seen you at that coffee place next to that petrol pump? I definitely know you from somewhere.” I know this sounds extremely caricaturized, but you will be amazed at how well it works. It doesn’t have to be heartfelt at all; it just needs to appear that way! The longer you suck the airtime at the beginning of that interaction while keeping it unthreatening and inadversarial, the more effective it is. And don’t even worry about this not being consistent with the middle finger from seconds before. He is going to be too confused (and too stupid) to play the whole thing back and grill you about veracity. And even if he does, that’s a much better spot for you to wriggle out of with some more BS, compared to what would have been. Just make sure you’re not being cocky, allowing him to call your BS. Speaking to him in a local language disarms him twice as fast. And once those initial 10 seconds play out, his reaction will typically be some variant of annoyed-angry (but not physical) with some directionally empty abuses to tail it off. The more tone deaf you can pretend to be to those, the quicker the intensity dissipates. All you gotta do is let him feel like he is the big dick in the room and he’s letting you get away with this one because he might have misread you or whatever. Whereas what’s really happening is that you are lock-picking the valve off on his idiotic head and letting the steam out without him even realizing it.

Again, it is laughable how well it works when you have seen it work. But that’s how it goes when you are dealing with someone hot headed. You don’t need to combat it as much as you need to negotiate with it. And when you’re the only one who knows that, you can set the rules of engagement to suit yourself. Think of it as an adaptation of “If you can’t convince them, confuse them” which in ordinary situations is a very unscrupulous way of dealing with things. But there’s no honor in getting your ass kicked either.

Worst case, if it doesn’t work, you are basically where you would have been if you hadn’t given it a shot, right?

As far as worrying about where we’re headed as a society, that’s a fair concern. But the fallacy there is believing it could have gone another way. That is a whole other subject of course, but civilizationally, this is exactly how the cookie was expected to crumble, if you were listening to the right people for the last 100 odd years.
G said…
No doubt that your suggestion is, in the long term, the healthier one. But, for many shrimps, one of the great imagined satisfactions of life is thumping bullies. At at subconscious level, I wonder if this is why action and superhero movies work - the innate craving to lead a life of power. Not intellectual power... that's would seem to be too much work :). Also makes me wonder just how many people disguise their helplessness and craving by calling these movies "masala" or "paisa-vasool".

As to your last point, I guess history repeats itself whether we learn from it or not. Seems inevitable.

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