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Requiem for the Indifferent

How am I
supposed to work
to play and laugh
knowing what I know
burrowing into my head.

How am I
supposed to wake up with
the stunning, breathtaking shock
of 8 months ago
and
the agonizing emptiness of now.

How am I
supposed to reconcile
with the fact that distance
is not as painful
as proximity.

How am I
supposed to share
the same patch of sky
the same sun and moon
the same air and water
with you.

How am I
supposed to yet be unable to
share a glance or a smile
a greeting or a goodbye
a heartbeat or an hour
a touch or a caress.

How am I
supposed to accept
that there was no hope
when I can feel it
beat relentlessly, eternally.

How am I
supposed to stay stern
when even the very mention of you
forces a smile to rush from my heart
to my eyes.

How am I
supposed to live
knowing you
and knowing you
not knowing me.
 
How am I
supposed to come so close
from so far
and find myself
farther still. 

How am I supposed to survive the next 3 days?

Song for the moment: Sky & Sand - Paul & Fritz Kalkbrenner

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