How am I supposed to work to play and laugh knowing what I know burrowing into my head. How am I supposed to wake up with the stunning, breathtaking shock of 8 months ago and the agonizing emptiness of now. How am I supposed to reconcile with the fact that distance is not as painful as proximity. How am I supposed to share the same patch of sky the same sun and moon the same air and water with you. How am I supposed to yet be unable to share a glance or a smile a greeting or a goodbye a heartbeat or an hour a touch or a caress. How am I supposed to accept that there was no hope when I can feel it beat relentlessly, eternally. How am I supposed to stay stern when even the very mention of you forces a smile to rush from my heart to my eyes. How am I supposed to live knowing you and knowing you not knowing me. How am I supposed to come so close from so far and find myself farther still. How am I supposed to survive the ...