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My ship isn't pretty

With a birthday so close to the new year, any wishes and resolutions I make tend to sound oddly similar or rather, symbiotic. Of course, any positive sentiment I'd attach to them is scuttled in moments because a sardonic voice in my head immediately says "Yea, right". My conscience is consistent like that.

Bringing in the birthday this year turned out to be streets ahead of 2009. Last year, I was jolted awake by phone calls a little past 12 am, a custom I still don't understand. Okay so maybe a boatload of people stay awake and bring in their birthdays, but I support the 'be asleep at midnight' philosophy of life. Anyway, the point is, last year I was woken at that ungodly hour by the phone ringing, and then left with the wonderful realisation that I was alone on my birthday, a feeling magnified by the dark silence of night. Then again, it was a crappy year all around, so it stayed uniform till the finish. This year though, friends were in Bombay, so much drinking and merriment was ensured and executed. If birthdays are any indicator of the year to come, could 2011 turn out to be a decently tolerable one ?

In the last couple of weeks, a motley collection of old friends having been making their way into India after years; while I've stayed in touch with them through mail and G-talk, the spontaneity and magic of personal interaction has always been missed. And here's something voice chat doesn't allow for - the pauses and silences that cushion conversation, being insightful without disrupting its soul. While I don't exactly prescribe to the stoic school of Clint Eastwood and Cormac McCarthy, I still fail magnificently at small talk. So, with friends moving away and / or living in foreign parts,  I've missed that... the opportunity to converse, letting the mood take the ideas and words where they will. In a Facebook world, I'm still old-school that way.

I thought about doing another graphical post to end the year, but couldn't quite get it together and gave up. With a demanding new job and trips to Bangalore, Panchgani and Pune for some memorable get-togethers, 2010 feels like the echo of empty rooms the day after an excellent house party. There were some good times and some flat ones. People came, left or were asked to leave.

Like after the party, its time to pick up the pieces, clear the trash, spruce up the place and brace myself for another day, another year. I did not make any birthday wish this year. So, I don't know about hopes, but at least 2011 doesn't hold any false promises.

Have a good year everyone.

Song for the moment: Love is no big truth - Kings of Convenience

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