Monday, February 18

If truth be told

Have you ever read through the various mythological tales, religious texts, films etc. and thought "Oh! puhlease.... there is no way that happened "? If so, well take a gander at the twists in the scenarios mentioned below.

No offence... and if you do take offence, please stop reading this blog, because there's a part - 2 coming up sometime.

1. The Ramayan:

Kaikeyi: Ram, you must leave Ayodhya for 14 years

Ram (cool as a cucumber): Fine. No problem. There's a nice camp-ground just past the city gates. I can always have provisions delivered to my tent.

Kaikeyi: Ehh... no. That's not what I meant.... you're to go into the forests for 14 years.

Ram: Weeeeell..... all right. But if I go, Lakshman goes with me.

Lakshman does a double-take: Dude, what the hell !!

Ram is in the forest with Sita and Lakshman. Bharat approaches.

Bharat: Bhaiyya! You are the rightful king. You have to come back with me.

Ram (with a supercilious look): No, no Bharat. I have to obey my parents. It is only right that...

Bharat: Okay, bye.

Ram: What the...

Bharat: O yea... (clears throat) well, in that case I'll only rule on your behalf. Give me something of yours so that we may remember you by.

Ram (muttering under his breath): Oh god! what more does he want ? He's got all my clothes, chariots and whatnot and left me in these rags.

Bharat: Yes... a token. How about them slippers?

Ram thinks to himself - Damn!! and I'd just broken these in too....

2. The Prince of Egypt:

A crowd of rather tired and raggedy-looking people led by a bearded man with a staff in his hand, is marching wearily thru the desert. A few remarks are heard...

X: "Let my people go" he said... and it never occurred to us to ask him where we were going !!

Y: Round and round in bloody circles... there's that cactus we passed an hour ago. Why in blazes won't he ask for directions ?

Z: "Oooo... I can bring in locusts... I can part the sea..." Ask him to get us across a patch of sand and look what happens !

A donkey telling another: God! that tablet weighed a ton... thank the heavens it fell off and no one noticed. You doing all right then ?

3. In the garden of Eden:

Eve is sitting alone under a tree...

Eve: My, am I starving.... and isn't that typical ? The only fruit tree for miles and its off-limits.

Satan, in the guise of the snake slithers down, with an apple: Here you go then... something to munch on.

Eve: Yuck... not bloody likely! You've already bitten into that... (wanders away)

Satan: Would you look at that !! And she doesn't even appreciate that I got it for her, considering I got no hands. Bah! Phooey.... (tosses apple on the grass and slithers away)

Adam comes by: My, am I starving. Hey, here's an apple....

1 comment:

Ketan said...